


Staying

by cadkitten



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Hot Chocolate, Running
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 07:54:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16909125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: Dick's lost in his thoughts, in the age-old desire to run. A friendly presence and a mug of hot chocolate find their way through the tangle of his thoughts.





	Staying

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BatchSan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatchSan/gifts).



> For @dcmarvelbingobang for @BatchSan (AO3) - this is a "treat" fic, you weren't my assigned giftee. Just wanted to write something for Titans!  
> Request: Nothing shippy and no smut. Bingo slot is "Hot Chocolate". Can be canon-divergent. 
> 
> So I didn't mean for it to be so introspective and I apologize in advance that it's basically angst with hope attached. I hope it's at least something enjoyable.  
>  **Written post S1E7 and pre S1E8**  
>  Beta: sakuraame  
> Song[s]: "Wires" by The Neighborhood

If he really thinks about it, he's tired of running. There's a ceaseless, endless part of him that screams at him to run. Sometimes he can ignore it for a while and then it crops right back up and the whispers become screams telling him to move on, to leave behind anything that's been developing, that he can't be attached again.

It's a pain that cuts him deep. It's the images of his parents falling to their deaths, of his hand reaching out to grasp and failing. It's the aftermath that left him bouncing between places that didn't want him and his own desire to leave the world behind. It's the way that he ran from Bruce at first and when he finally trusted, he got cut deeper than ever before. His mind begs him to leave before he's cut here, too.

Instead, he sits on the sofa and tries not to feel the pain that fills his heart over having been replaced so easily. That Bruce let someone take his name - the name his mother gave him - and that he's training someone else to be this messed up. He tries not to feel how much of a mess he is as he tries to look like he's not falling apart inside. 

The real hell of it is, he knows he needs people in his life. He's never been the kind of guy who can just float between people and places like they mean nothing. In truth, everyone means more than they'll ever know. Even Jason. 

He leans on the arm of the couch and he thinks of those piercing eyes and the determination that is a lit fire inside that boy. He sighs and he hopes to god Bruce does right by this one. 

His eyelids flutter closed and he thinks about running again. The fantasy of getting up and walking out the door and never coming back blossoms behind his closed lids. It makes his heart speed up and his palms sweaty with some twisted combination of desire and fear. He wants to run just as much as he wants to stay.

The couch dips beside him and he forces his eyelids open, does his best to look like he wasn't indulging in something that honestly resembles one of Bruce's brooding sessions, and finds someone he didn't expect seated next to him.

He watches Gar's tentative little smile and he accepts the mug that's held out to him. It smells strongly of packaged chocolate and if that weren't enough to tip him off, he's sure the giant marshmallow on top would be. Gingerly, he holds the mug between his hands and takes a sip.

Gar watches him, so hopeful and expectant and Dick wonders what it is that they boy expects from him. Does he expect him not to run or is he used to people leaving him like Dick is? Like he's pretty sure Raven is. 

Gar asks nothing of him and Dick relaxes into the silence of it, does his best to shed the skins of his unwelcome thoughts and just exist in the moment. The fake fireplace, the too-sweet cocoa, the simplicity of silent company. He thinks he could stay.

He breathes easier for the first time in months and when he looks back, Gar's watching him without being obvious about it. He has to smile at the way the kid examines the world. 

"Are you staying, then?"

It's Kori's voice that asks the question and Dick just keeps watching Gar. Their eyes meet and he covers a sigh with a sip of hot chocolate. He makes his decision, weighs it in his mind, and he turns his head to look back at Kori, Raven a few steps behind her, hands tucked deep in her hoodie. The decision feels right for now. He just hopes it'll last.

"I'm staying."

He doesn't say for now. He doesn't qualify it and he feels the door just as much as he feels the wall that could be being built behind it. He wonders what he'll find when he inevitably opens it up.

But for now, he'll take this. The quiet and the ease of existing just as he is, accepted for what he used to be and who he is. The judgement has been passed upon him and he's still welcome. 

He'll take what he can.


End file.
